![]() "I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith drove his car off a cliff, broke both his legs? It's not a funny "ha-ha" story so much as it's a make-you-think story.3.6 Related Guides and Lessons: Method 1: Use the Speed Trainer to work on difficult riffs, licks, or solos.Well, anyway, the third time Keith went under, I realized something was wrong, so I―" "I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith got rolled by a gator in a swamp? Man, he didn't agonize it or nothin', we were just tryin' to grab two so we could piss 'em off and get 'em into a fight. ![]() ![]() So he got some mud and was makin' what we were all thinkin' was gonna be these adobe bricks, you know, like when them people out West made bricks and shit? Well, he had mud and." Yeah, he was goin' to build a shack once, to live in and all, and I know most people here, they build houses and they become shacks, but Keith, he was about jumpin' right to the shack stage. "Man, all this mud reminds me of my friend Keith.His doctor called up, like, other doctors to look at him cause they'd never seen burns on top of existing burns―" "I ever tell you about the time Keith tried to deep-fry a turkey? Third-degree burns over 90 percent of his body.Man, people in the next city over were calling to complain about the smell of burning skin." "I ever tell you about the time Keith and I made fireworks? Now, I didn't know shit about chemistry, but Keith figured "Gasoline burns, doesn't it?" Heh, third-degree burns on 95 percent of his body."I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith fell out the rollercoaster? Yeah, he didn't drop far, mind you, just onto the tracks, but the carnival people wouldn't stop the ride 'cause all the other people paid good money and Keith snuck on for free, so he had to dodge for, like, 20 minutes or so."."I ever tell you about the time me and Keith snuck a paintball gun on a rollercoaster? I never heard'a anybody else doin' it, so I thought we might'a invented a sport, so Keith called the patent office, but―"."I ever tell you about the time me and Keith snuck into a Tunnel of Love? Man, if you get your spit thick enough, y'see, y'all can hang a loogie off the overhang, right, so when smoochin' sons-a-bitches behind you―".Keith was with his lady at the time, and he was yellin' for her to save him, but she didn't want to get wet." "I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith drowned in the Tunnel of Love? You wouldn't think it could happen 'cause the water's so shallow, but that's how it gets you, man.I didn't run him over, either he somehow managed to fall under his own." "I ever tell you about the time me and Keith made a homemade bumper car ride with ridin' mowers in his backyard? Mower blade wounds over 90% of his body.So he got this rope―and don't ask me where he got the rope from― " He'd been up there for, like, two days or something, and he wanted some beer, but they weren't givin' him any. "I knew this guy who was trying to set the world record on staying on a Ferris wheel.But there was this guy I knew, he raced dirt tracks, not stock cars but open-wheeled cars, you know, and he was racing once and a goat." (Survivors interrupt) "Okay, but there was a goat." is "The Man." I mean, I don't know anybody like that, man. However, it is only in this particular story. Note: In the German version Dave is replaced with Keith, but in the English version he does mention Dave. Once, I was in this mall, up in Atlanta, and these guys were dancing for like money and stuff and my friend Dave and I was all like." He screamed for an entire year every single time he opened his eyes! Oh, man! At first, it was funny then it just got sad, but then it got funny again! Oh, man!" He was shooting crows, but the police were too busy teargassin' him to ask what he was doin' up there. "My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once.Coach: "We ain't got time for this, Ellis.".Rochelle: "Ellis, sweetie, can this wait?" / "Ellis, Ellis, Ellis sweetie? Ellis?!".Nick: "Ellis? Is now the best time?" / "Ellis, Ellis! We don't have time for this right now!" / "Ellis, Ellis, Ellis."."Nick, I don't need that kind of pressure.". ![]()
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